it's almost time...

It's almost time to meet our baby girl. I can't believe there are only officially 13 days until our due date. What is she going to be like? Who will she look like? Will she be a sleeper? Eater? How long will labor be? So many questions are running through my mind.

The doctor ordered my last day of work to be this Friday. If Riley hasn't come by then, I am looking forward to some time with my husband as our last bit of a family of 2. But, if she comes before then, I will totally be OK with that too! Who knows... there is a full moon tonight!

Below is a picture of a babies head inside of the body on it's way out... Riley is at a -1 station today. That sounds like progress to me!!!
Don't get me wrong... it's scary as crap too. I guess just getting this far, I really just want to meet her, so I want her to come on out! I am no super woman, nor do I consider anyone "super woman" for going all natural. I believe in drugs when it comes to labor. I am definitely going for the epidural.

I guess my fears are this...

How will I know it is time to go to the hospital if my water doesn't break? I have a somewhat high pain tolerance (yes, once I am in pain, I am a baby... but sometimes things that bother others just don't bother me.) Mom said she was in labor for 12 hours before she got to the hospital. When the hooked her up and asked "did you feel that" she said... "feel what?" So my concern is one of two scenarios if my water doesn't break on it's own... 1.) I have contractions for too long and don't make it to the hospital or 2.) I'll be "that girl" who goes to the hospital and is sent home for false labor. I just really want my water to break since that is a sure sign to "get the heck to the hospital." That is my main fear of all of this. The fear of the unknown. Anyone who knows me, knows how OCD I am... I am a planner. I cannot plan this and it is driving me crazy.

I am ready to be a mommy. Yes, I am scared. I want to be a good mom. I want to teach Riley all of the things my mom taught me. I want to protect her. I want to teach her to make the right decisions. Michael and I talk about this all the time. What is it that causes some kids to make the
"right" decisions and others to not. Sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. It's so scary being a teacher and seeing what kids are into and up to these days. I want the best for my baby girl. I want to be able to always be there for her. I want to always know the answer and I know that is impossible. I hope she is my best friend. I hope she loves me as much as I love her and knows just how much I do love her. My mom and I are so close, I just pray that Riley and I can share that too.

Well... last night, I painted my toenails and my fingernails. Mom told me I couldn't go into labor with the horrible paint job that was on them last night. haha. They are nice and pink with glitter, just for my baby girl. I was pretty impressed that I could still get to my toes. I'm also impressed that I stuck to under 30 lbs this far into my pregnancy. It was a huge fear of mine. I think I have done really well.

Michael went hunting tonight. He said it was his last time for a while before Riley gets here. Dad is planning to go to the beach for a night tomorrow or Thursday. Mom is staying home. I knew she would. :) She kept saying "it's only 2.5 hours away... you wont have her in 2.5 hours..." Then today she said "your dad is going to the beach." Haha. I knew she wouldn't leave with me this close. Dr. Chappell said today "hopefully you wont need that appointment for next Tuesday!" That my friends, is exciting!

OK, I will stop babbling. Cookies just came out of the oven. I'm taking them to work tomorrow for our meeting. I made pumpkin muffins too! I can't wait to get my big pink mixer!!!

Goodnight world.

~let go laughing!


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