things i have learned in 3 short weeks...

In just three short weeks of being a mom, I have learned so much. Here are just a few things...

THIS is the most adorable child in the whole world. (just sayin')

• Durham peds is Ahh-Mazing! I love our pediatrician. They have helped us out so much in figuring out sweet Riley's tummy issues. Please find a Dr. you like and trust. It means everything!
• First and foremost: Formula is NOT poison- Despite what society says... Everyone needs to do what is best for them. Mom, baby and family. This is the best advice that has ever been given to me. After two full weeks of essentially breast feeding, I was sobbing at the near thought of my child waking up. THAT is not ok. The pain was excruciating and not getting better. I was bleeding, (and i still am a week and a half after taking her off my breast) and the lactation consultant kept saying that nothing was wrong and I should not be in pain. I was on the verge of PPD and was almost miserable. My mind would be racing about when I was going to have to feed her again. After a visit to my doctor and finding out it was possibly infected, I decided to essentially pump. Riley was still getting breast milk and I felt better about it. I was happy, she was happy and we were much less stressed. Two days into pumping, she began having tummy issues. The doctor thought it could be lactose in my breast milk and I was urged to use gentle formula for 24 hours to see if we saw a difference and to see if she was allergic to dairy. It was very hard for me to stop breast feeding even as much as I hated it. Everyone wants you on the breast according to society... I felt like a failure. I cried about it. I questioned myself as a mother. After a day on the formula, she was already getting better, but still having the horrible screaming episodes. The next step- stay on the formula and add prevacid for acid reflux. Horrible mother alert- I have to give me baby formula... Guess what?! My child is being fed. We are bonding, her daddy can help... why was I so concerned? She started meds for reflux today and I have been OK'd to try to give her my breast milk again. I am nervous at this point about it because I do not want to see her in so much pain again. I have a TON of breast milk stocked in the freezer and I am continuing to pump. I think I will wait about a week before giving it back to her just to be sure her tummy is getting better. The doctor advised me NOT to put her back on my breast because of the pain, the stress and the possibility of ppd with how it made me feel. Riley Quinn is PERFECTLY healthy having formula. She is being fed and I am NOT a bad mother. Yes, she will still be getting several bottles of breast milk a day until my supply dries up and when it does, I will NOT feel bad about it like the first time I gave her formula. Times have changed. Formula has changed and while yes, it is more expensive and semi more complicated to get ready when she is hungry... it is what is best for our family and my little angel. She is still getting antibodies from my bm and I am happy with that. I don't have to answer to anyone. My pediatrician says this is what is best for my baby girl. Thank you to my family and friends who have been so supportive of this. What else have I learned...
• Breathable bumpers are a must when your child is a rolly polly at 2 days old! She was rolling all the way to the edge of her crib the first night home. We quickly ran out and replaced her beautiful pottery barn bumper, with a breathable bumper to ensure she does not suffocate. When she is a bit older and can move more on her own, we will put her other one back.

• The Angel Care monitor is awesome and we love it... Just remember to cut it off when you take the baby out of the crib to feed her... otherwise, the neighborhood will think your baby has stopped breathing because the alarm is THAT loud. (not really, but dang it is loud!)

• The Angel Care monitor will also scare you to death when your rolly polly baby slides to the edge of the crib and it is not picking up movement so it starts to alarm. SCARY!

• Your baby will eat when she is hungry (unless she has reflux and it hurts her so bad... super sad to see...) BUT... if you (and the dr.) really want her to eat 3 oz since she has gotten on her meds and you leave your husband to the feeding... he might just consider drinking the last oz himself so he can go back to sleep and not wake the baby up for the umteenth time to finish her bottle. lol (he didn't do it... but he did admit to thinking about it.)

• My husband is an incredible father. He is always supportive of me and helps with our baby girl like you wouldn't believe. He gets up with Riley so mommy can sleep/pump and she is mesmerized by his voice.

being a mom is the most amazing feeling in the whole world.

let go laughing