isn't she lovely, made from love

It's hard for me to put into words what being a mother means to me. I have tried so many times and just can't do it. As I sit here and reflect on the last 6 months of my life, the only words that come to mind are perfect,wonderful, amazing... I't hard to believe that my not so little 8lb 9.5oz baby girl is getting her 6 month shots today. I wont lie and say I don't have the best possible situation ever. I have my parents next door who are the absolute best help ever. I have my husband who is the most supportive and amazing man I have ever known and I have a very special and wonderful little girl. Does it get hard? Of course. There are days I may not shower (oops) and some days I may forget to eat. BUT- these are the BEST days of my life and I cannot say that with any more confidence and truth.

I've been a part of a message board since I found out I was pregnant last October. All of the women (and some men) on the board have babies that were born in October. Some of the things I read on this board are shocking to me. One particular post I read yesterday was "How do I discipline my BAD six month old?" I thought to myself... this has to be a joke. I reluctantly opened the post and my skin was crawling as I continued to read it. That poor, innocent child who is just figuring out their body. Just learning to control things and quite possibly rolling over as the mother tries to change his or her diaper... they are "bad." Michael and I see things so differently. How could I ever speak of my innocent child that way. When Riley rolls over and tries to crawl away screaming during a diaper change, we laugh. Hysterically, actually.

Another mother was concerned about what her husband found when picking their child up from daycare unannounced. He walked in on the in-home day care provider (whom they had known for years and trusted) yelling at their 6 month old for crying. HOW could you yell at an innocent baby for CRYING?! They are crying because they need something. Even if that "need" is to be held and comforted. I would have taken my child out of this providers hands at that moment even if it meant missing my bills until I could find somewhere more appropriate. Luckily, this mom was able to do so.

I got a text from a wonderful friend of mine yesterday who was in Babies R Us at the time. She was actually talking to one pregnant mother about what a mom "needs" to prepare for having a baby. While having this conversation and sharing the fact that every baby is different and all you "need" is love and something to feed them (and maybe a blanket or two)... Sharing the wonderful experience of being a mother with this frightened and clueless soon to be mom... another mother was behind them reprimanding and yelling at her 7 month old. This breaks my heart as well as my friends. I don't care how frustrated I may ever get with Riley, I have never raised my voice at her. I'm not saying "I will never..." because I am sure when she is older, I may accidentally raise my voice at her. But really? An innocent baby? I could never see myself getting so frustrated to actually yell at my baby. Ever. Period.

In no way do I consider myself perfect. I am not ever going to be perfect and no one is. In fact, there is no such thing as perfect in my world. To me, you do the best you can. I just feel so strongly about this. The love I have for my child and the nurturing that I give to her, I could never imagine treating her in such a manner. God put me on this earth to be a mother to this child. He did not put me on earth to put down and yell at an innocent baby.

I will end my rant here as my little one is awake now and wants me. I'm looking forward to posting about my newest project! Stay tuned!

The following is the song I always sang to Riley while she was in my belly. I just love it and it is our song as mommy and baby girl.

Isn't she lovely

Isn't she wonderful

Isn't she precious

Less than one minute old

I never thought through love we'd be

Making one as lovely as she

But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she pretty

Truly the angel's best

Boy, I'm so happy

We have been heaven blessed

I can't believe what God has done

Through us he's given life to one

But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she lovely

Life and love are the same

Life is Aisha

The meaning of her name

Londie, it could have not been done

Without you who conceived the one

That's so very lovely made from love